Looking to rejuvenate  body? The Doctor Fish massage and peel comes to the rescue. This is the ultimate all over regeneration treatment. It’s so good it’s practically science fiction – and the results look so amazing the A listers have been trying to keep the technique a secret for years. What you’ll get is a firm, glowing face, tingling skin and a completely blemish free frame – and all thanks to the ministrations of our very smallest helpers – the incredible Doctor Fish.

So. What exactly is a Doctor Fish massage? It’s a technique that originated in Asia, where people are a lot cleverer about health and massage than they are over here. The Doctor Fish (or “garra rufa” fish, Obtusa cyprinidae, for the scientifically minded) is native to Asian hot springs, where it seems to have developed a rather unique relationship with the people who flock there to let the warm, mineral rich water suck all the tiredness out of their bodies. The fish feed on the dead skin, bacteria and impurities clinging to the human frame, literally eating all the bad stuff off of you. You’re left with a whole new skin – smooth, baby-soft, supple and young: and utterly free of skin smears, bad oils, unseen bacterial nastiness or everyday pollutants. There is nothing on earth like this – and we’ve got London’s first official treatment!

Don’t worry – the Doctor Fish a) has no teeth and b) is significantly smaller than your little finger. In other words, it couldn’t do you any harm if it wanted to. All this little masseur wants to do is nibble you – arguably the most pleasant, certainly the most unique, sensation in the health and beauty world. The fish has a surprisingly powerful suck on it, for such a little feller: not powerful enough to leave any marks, or hurt in any way, but definitely strong enough to stimulate good circulation, efficient nerve firing and proper oil production. The Asians who “pioneered” (if jumping in a pool of hot water and being involuntarily nibbled by little fish can be pioneering) Doctor Fish massage recognised the similarities between the nip of the fish and the expert prodding and poking performed by an acupuncturist or reflexologist: the rest, as they say, is history. Welcome to the most unusual health and beauty technique in the history of alternative medicine. You’ll love it.

International press suggests that the Doctor Fish massage technique has proven health benefits, as well as the most pleasing sensation a person can legally buy for their body. First up, the nibbling of the fish provokes nerve centres to fire in a way that relaxes tense bodies and allows the proper flow of physical energy; and it can also break up irritating crystals in the feet, which lead to blockages in circulation. Second, the fish hoover up all the daily rubbish that accumulates on the body, performing the same effect as a peel. And third, the actual experience of interacting with Nature in such an intimate way tends to encourage customers to lose their inhibitions, regressing in a positive way to a more childlike state of mind. That, as we all know, can be an extremely liberating and healthful experience. Healthy body, healthy mind – and happy mind, happy body.